The Jarrow Manifesto

Alpha Ville - Map Reference - ZZ AA 66

'These are only suggestions: There is no obligation.'

Jarrow might be renamed Alphaville. ZZ AA 66 is the map reference of the giant pylon near St. Paul's, the River Don and Jarrow Slake. Alphaville to become a crime free desirable town similar to Gosfoth/Yarm/Jesmond in 25 years. All statues/wall plates of the Jarrow March to be trashed. Vince Rea’s Metro relief of Jarrow March to be melted down except for the dog which will be saved Statues of positive modern icon like Peter Beardsley and Steve Cram to welcome visitors to a rebuilt Alphaville Metro Rohm and Hass invited to leave Alphaville Low Jarrow housing to be flattened. Residents to rehoused in Hebburn or Cramlington Mile wide strip of Alphaville from the rivers edge to be fenced off and left untouched for 25 years. Paid ex-squaddies to keep this land free for 25 years with use of surveillance cameras All housing south of the Newcastle to Sunderland railway axis to be abandoned. Wide green belt to be achieved separating Alphaville clearly from the air from Sunderland No one will have to lock a bicycle in Alphaville No housing on ridges. A walk from Marsden to South Shields reveal minimal buildings in view Alphaville’s logo is to be a Prince Bishop Soldier Priest death mask in black hooded top wielding a heavy sword, escaping persecution, in search of the freedom he needs to breath. Kind and cultured but willing to exact harsh punishment Hospitals and cemeteries to be merged. No more leafy suburbs!!!!! Alphaville the town to be a "forest with houses in it" with cobbled streets, wild deer and boar, and organic or designer buildings Prison ship to be purchased from council tax. Thieves, arsonists and anti-socials to be removed from Alphaville and placed in a prison ship. Inmates to clean up Alphaville policed by ex-squaddies and to complete public works such as landscaping Rohm and Haas and levelling Morison’s for the people of Alphaville Returning soldiers to be given well paid jobs as guards and enforcers, not left unemployed nor on insulting low pay Vandal driven architecture to end. Public buildings to be good enough to win design awards. Public Art to be by local talent not Wayne Hemmingway or Will Allsop Forced cycling fitness. All roads, cycle-ways and paths to be organic. Cars only for diplomats, posh people and foreigners with money. "Pool" cars for the rest No dogs. Only kindness to lavished on people. Limited dog/animal interaction corals on mid Hebburn side Big open heated swimming pool miles long to replace Luke’s Lane adults only with ozone - no chlorine. German style hygiene system and monitoring. Raised pool on first floor with massive viewing windows for viewing swimmers Planet Organic food to become the norm along with the hot dogs from IKEA @ the Gateshead Metro All northern economic bodies to be dissolved and replaced with single one charged with retaining wealth and attracting money and good jobs to the North MP to report to the public on St. Georges playing field in an open meeting to explain what he has done for Alphaville that week. The wall of shame awaits Morison’s to be systematically boycotted until they close down. Old shoppers to be free bussed to Boldon ASDA Arndale/Viking arcade to be demolished and landscaped. Crime against parks and forests to be harsh. Arson to be punished by banishment to a national place for banished people e.g. Gruniard island where sand will be replaced by asbestos lagging from decommissioned ships Viking statues to be melted down and Charles Palmer, the creator of Jarrow, to be reinstated/rehabilitated Eldon Square and Metrocentre to be similarly boycotted. 90% of the money spent in NE shops ends in London and the Home Counties. Both Metrocentre and Eldon Square are owned and managed from London. 95% of building and architectural work in the NE create work in London and the Home Counties Free London accommodation/hostels for northern builders /tradesmen bringing wealth back to the northeast. London sleeper reinstated. Tax incentives for working away Matriarchy to be toned down. Men can work indoors too, but require long and extensive re-education and telephone manner training i.e. men to learn some female skills. Failure to mean having to work outside again or shot blasting. Equal work opportunities for men in local authorities. Overweight officials to hand in car keys until fit again The curriculum. ZZ to pay lip service only to the national curriculum. The national curriculum is designed to neuter local strengths. New curriculum to play to local strengths of courage, unique and genuine friendliness among locals, sport with emphasis on kickboxing and self-defence. Criminals. Local dealers to be removed from drug scene and sent on business management courses. On return to replace overweight officials in the management structure of local authorities. Churchgoing to be discouraged and eventually banned South Shields to get new logo. This will be a raft of survivors from the convoys to Murmansk, illustrating the courage of English men. Similarly the virtue of comradeship and bravery in Hebburn’s new logo to be HMS Kelly. Background of logo to be yacht exploding in Dublin bay alluding to the wealth of the local sense of humour. Sunderland. All un-visual i.e. and e.g. "industry" (occupational therapy/distraction "eehh!! Look there’s an engine falling off an Easyjet! type thing to be removed to Sunderland but perhaps not – not flat so better to have it like a section of the Rhine with sirens, eddies and castles. As the river diverted to Sunderland instead along the Team Valley so to Sunderland to disappear just as it appeared – by freak chance. Blyth, Sunderland , Cullourcoats! The trains are full to Newcastle not the reverse each working morning so lets go with the flow. No more surface buildings. Tellitubby buildings only –especially caravans must be buried.