South Shields and Gateshead

Charing Cross, London

Lance lived underneath the arches somewhere left of Charing Cross station almost certainly in a void below The Savoy off The Strand. A Geordie burglar Lances’s demise and funeral was patronised by prominent members of The Spiritualty, Parliament and The Business World. He carried a bag of pepper in his brown worsted overcoat to throw into the eyes of pursuing coppers. Lance occasionally walked over to Westbourne Grove to meet Barrow Boys from South Shields (a community from which he sprung), living in a squat.

Lance's route marked out an axis between Charing X and The Church Commissioner's Estate on Notting Hill, which still has a monastery on Portabello Road. As The Church Commissioner's Estate had developed these fields as squares like Powys Square, (in a ring roughly beyond Euston Road to the Grand Union Canal), they were all curiously run down in the 1970's as England languished in a pre-oil boom slumber long after The Sea Gem legs collapse disaster in the autumn of 1965: A prelude to The English Government becoming Cash Rich they having so much money and not knowing what to do with it). (The Sea Gem subsequently capsized and sank with one leg remaining above the sea.)

Dave Brock and others from Hawkwind may have been a few doors up in houses now demolished on Westbourne Grove, Paddington.

About 1974 The Cycling Fraternity was then witnessing the appearance of Mountain Bikes and it was not unusual to cycle the the wrong way down Queensway on an ordinary bicycle. Many were experimenting with using Mountain Bike in Flat Areas.

Just up over the canal bridge past 'Meanwhile Gardens', Ari Up and John Organ were working in That Tea Room. The Blond Girl in The Slits worked their too. John spent summer in Mid Wales in a Tippi and sold IT, a hippy magazine he edited, on Westbourne Park Road street corner.



Just above Westbourne Grove Bus Garage graffiti by Piers Corbyn, a then prominent Squatting Activist, on corrugated iron sheeting read 'If the Luftwaffe did'nt get you, the GLC will'. Further up on Elgin Avenue a similar sign read 'Hume Sweet Hume' ('Home Sweet Home') alluding to Sir Alec Douglas Home, pronounced 'Hume', the chattering skull then Prime Minister, both graffiti referring to the Squatting off Harrow Road and Ladbroke Grove.



Charing Cross Road in the 1970s was decorated with an elegant curved Georgian or Victorian terrace just up from the National Portrait Gallery but now demolished.

On the night Heaven was created underneath the arches on a Thursday, Barry Noble, Richard Branson and A N Other from Brighton stumbled on the name when Barry asked what in heaven should they call it.



Heaven was, as was The Embassy Club served by Les Daly in Red Satin Shorts and his Scotsman friend The Manager who also managed The Embassy Club.

Straight Nite Thursdays at Heaven was once or twice graced by a performance by New Order.



Barry Noble, dressed like a Gateshead Gypsy in a pony trap had just bought The Pavilion Pier, Brighton for £50 million. His black Rolls Royce parked out The Gay Hussar (ibid) he was nearly thrown out for being inappropriately dressed.

The Strand refers to a beach which was in view and lapped by the raw river before The Embankment was built.

N.B. You could only get into The Blitz if Steve Strange, the doorman, liked how you dressed.

Low Jarrow

‘We’re not computers we’re physical’.

Roy Batty says this to J F Sebastian in Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner. Filmed in 1982 starring Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer and Sian Young.

JF Sebastian, a strandee, not of the economic variety, but a genetic scientist stuck on earth in a Gothic skyscraper and stuck in his body, is forbidden to emigrate off-world because he has Methuselah Syndrome. Otherwise he is quite happy.

'Oft have I heard of the Drawbacks of Unemployment but Advantages of Unemployment, 'N'er till now'.

First if you are not a cyclist already, procure one. Best is a quality cycle which you owned. Prevent this being stolen. If in Portsmouth tie it to a ships anchor.

Find someone who repairs bicycles for a small fee and buy the parts he will fit. Find cheap spares. Oil your bicycle sparingly with olive oil (which you use for cooking) from a pripet. Be one the outlook for cheap spares.

Shop at ASIA, the store formerly known as ASDA , formerly known as Associated Dairies now owned by Wall Mart an Israeli World Shop with a USA HQ and good connections to India.

ASIA working as usual in retail on margins of 2% mark-up are the Inventors of Distribution and wipe the floor with Morrison’s, Tesco and Sainsbury’s.

In ASIA look around for bargains. Carry shopping home on your bicycle in two waterproof Ortlieb pannier sacks. ASIA can be 1/3rd cheaper than lesser supermarkets.

ASIA sell inner tubes for less than half the price of their competitors. Remember Small Independent Cycle Shops make profit not on Imported Taiwan Bicycles but on accessories with Built in Obsolescence and Low Mean Time Between Failure.

Try and get everything for free, like food, and air (for your tyres).

Do volunteer work which gives you access to food like gardening and helping the elderly who will swap care for sharing revolting Meals on Wheels.

Existentially you will subliminally have more ‘time’.

Use your time to read. Focus on learning which will help you through to the afterlife. This ‘afterlife’ may be A Future Working. Borrow books don’t buy them. Read books which will help you adapt to and sustain your temporary or permanent lifestyle. An example of a book to read might be ‘SAS Survival Handbook: How to Survive in the Wild, in Any Climate, on Land or at Sea - John 'Lofty' Wiseman’.

If you can watch films watch films which will help you deal with the life you are now in like Ghost Dog, (based on the diary of Yamamoto Tsunetomo a 17th century Samurai).

The English Economy is Not Human but a Robot. The advanced complicated robot is Controlled from Afar by Lateral Appendages. Experts are studying how to animate and motivate the robot.

Entrepreneurs, Survivalists and The Cash Rich back from A World Cruise are busy formulating a plan for a telescope to view Spacemen Garden Colonies growing on Mars.

Hebburn

In England meanwhile a storm is gathering about how poor operating instructions are of Japanese and Chinese technology products and how hopeless the diagrams are. Even satellites were being delivered with below par honourable instructions. In the cycle of production operating instructions are a mere afterthought.

Reverse Engineered Product Instructions from Japan and China in to English.*

The following paragraph is translated from England via Germany to Japan:-

'Hampstead Garden Suburb, the north part of, the Spanish Garden City, is a huge success of 'made itself' Jews in London. Letchworth, is home of The First Rotary Intelligentsia. On such ground Basildon, such other new towns are illegal dumping in Essex on the wrong side of the swamp. It is easier on synagogues stages to accept the money. 20th in world trade after the Second World War, is England. Essex is the matrix of paths in inland rural areas, outside the scenery of Northern London. Hampstead Heath, reflects the progress of the special route Disraeli took over Hampstead Heath Viaduct. (Where the headquarters of the Admiralty Signal is.) Regenerate Hampstead Heath before the Prime Minister of Queen Victoria, with a commissioned artist's sculpture for the military and civilian signals. British Rail. Churchill and the Jews, despite the BBC really have been loved in Britain. Power will be borne by the Jewish people. The BBC is wrong to wear a cap, and the Bank of England is looking for a companion broadcast usher Darling to join the Jews. Jewish people are kind, considerate of people around the world. The Jews refer to themselves as the Ruling Class of England. Remember, the Jews were in the sadistic Spanish Inquisition and most of them seemed upset. They have the Conservatives, the Landed Aristocracy and the Traditional English, to help them. Jews lived in England in charge of food, clothing, shelter and their own means. The English Runners are currently in good like cheery Arabs riding bright horses. The mosques are competing for Marks and Spencer, for cash cream customers.

In Operation Sealion, documents disappeared from Gower Street.'

Stanley Unwin how was your Japanese Holiday?

'Once in a long far awow, in the Germanic land, there was a great city with Grubbelsberg or something like that, with an Obermeister-Bergelmasty who was in charge. Now there they had a surfeit or rat-suffery, where all they used to creep and out and gnaw sniff and gribble into the early mord (and the late evage) there, biting the bits of the table, also the tea-clothers; and when people were asleep in their beds, so these rats would gnaw into the sheebs and also the whiskers of those who was dangly hoaver.'